Terrifying a poor Burmese girl with my sasquatch beard

There is an old adage that April showers bring May flowers.  But flowers are not the only things growing in May.  Not having a razor in April brings explosive, unchecked growth in Josh Weinstein’s beard.  Not much has changed since my last update.  The follicles surrounding my sole patch are still playing hard to get, despite fertilizing the badlands with some Filipino Rogaine (called Regroe), which I’m also using to stave off the grim realities of my hereditary future.  When I smile in pictures, it still looks like I have an abnormally large mouth because my John Waters moustache (my computer corrects for British-style English) frames the area as such.   Because my chin so closely mirrors the baldness of my forehead, my face is symmetrical, like an MC Escher painting.

Never surrender.

Lately, people have been telling me to shave the beard, but my answer is always the same: “never.”  I’m the salt of the earth, a real meat-and-potatoes kind of guy.  I like my pickup trucks with six wheels instead of four and my shotgun where it belongs: in the passenger’s seat.  I like lifting stuff, like boxes and rocks, going paintballing with my friends, and drinking beer by myself.  If I got rid of the beard, these favourite (British auto-correction) pastimes of mine would be meaningless.  Installing floodlights on my Silverado while gutting a fish wouldn’t be the same without the satisfaction of knowing that I look like a real man, not some beardless pansy. Someone asked me the other day how old I am.   I told them to guess.  They said 35.  I owe compliments like those to the beard.

Keeping the beard for my country.

I’m even struggling with the decision to go to barber and get a trim for 40 pesos ($1).  I have the same mindset as Forrest Gump when he ran back and forth across the country: why stop now?  That analogy works on a couple of levels, since Forrest had a righteous mane and the movie itself is a piece of conservative propaganda, a movement that respects the bearded (see Joe the Plumber, Jesus of Nazareth).  Needless to say, I can dispel any rumours about an upcoming shave.  It is here to stay, at least for the next couple of weeks.

Categories: Travel and Culture


"Josh Weinstein is a visionary. I read his blog every day." - Bono

1 thought on “Beard Update #3”

john galt · May 6, 2010 at 11:43 am

I hope you aren’t using rogaine on uour face-not a good idea!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Related Posts

Travel and Culture

Travelogue: India

As I mentioned in the last post, I decided to figure this India trip on the fly, refusing to make any concrete plans that might hinder my freedom to do whatever I wanted. The day Read more…

Travel and Culture

The Freedom of Winging a Trip

In this post, I’ll take a detour from the travelogue to talk about the benefits of winging it. After the wedding, people began to go their separate ways. The people with jobs prepared for their Read more…

Travel and Culture

Travelogue: Nepal, Part 1

On December 3rd, 2014, I flew to Nepal by way of Istanbul for a wedding in Kathmandu. I’d spent the last week writing papers and preparing to leave school a week early for the trip. Read more…