What a time to be sort of close to North Africa! Revolutions abound, first in Tunisia, and now Egypt. Normally, Develop Economies would offer his opinion on the significance of the overthrow of Hosni Mubarak and its ramifications for Israel, democracy in the Arab world, civil unrest in Iran, and the foreign policy strategy of the Obama administration. Unfortunately, anything I could say has already been said by countless others. For a play-by-play of the events and a thorough parsing of the discussion among the Egypt bloggers, go to Andrew Sullivan’s Daily Dish. For an in-depth analysis of the implications for America’s foreign policy, see the lead article in this month’s edition of Foreign Policy magazine, which features astute observations from the likes of Nick Burns, Elliot Abrams (real reactionary), and others. In other words, there is no room for Develop Economies to hit the people over the head with some insanely awesome analysis. So I’ll write instead about something that struck me as funny while watching grainy CNN international coverage from my hotel room in Sunyani: Wolf Blitzer saying the word “tweet.”
I don’t know what it is about Wolf Blitzer that grinds my gears. I should feel a special kinship, given that he is a card-carrying member of the Beard-Wearers of America since 1982, a 6th-degree black belt, in official terms, where as I only have my blue belt, or whichever one comes after yellow (orange?). I mean, just look at that beard. That is the beard of a man who has earned the moniker “Wolf.” If he is Wolf, then, on my best days, I could call myself “Billy Goat” or “Chinstrap Penguin.” Like me, he is short and probably not very good at basketball. So what is it about this man that I share so much in common with that causes such a visceral reaction in me?
Maybe it is the fact that this man acts as though he is privy to some sort of knowledge that the rest of us non-newsies cannot possibly comprehend. Over the course of the two hour Wolf-cast I subjected myself to, the Blitz used the phrase “those of us who have been following Egypt for all these years” at least a half a dozen times. But that isn’t even the worst of it. If I had a nickel for every time the Blitzkrieg used the word “tweet,” I’d have a dollar. “Tweet” is an utterly ridiculous word to begin with. But to hear Wolf Blitzer say it over and over again is too much. It’s like Jodie Foster quoting Eminem in her commencement speech at Penn. Something about it just doesn’t feel right. Neither does this:
It could also be the fact that, over the years, I have gotten so much enjoyment out of the Youtube video featuring Wolf describing the victims of Hurricane Katrina as “so poor, and so black.” I mean, Wolf. Wolf, Wolf, Wolf. What were you thinking? Since Develop Economies wants his readers to enjoy it as much as he has enjoyed it all these years, here it is:
Then, just when you think you’ve had enough of Wolf being Wolf, you find consolation in the fact that, though he may be part Wolf, he is flawed just like the rest of us humans. I mean, just look at this absolutely dismal performance on Jeopardy:
Fettucine?! Who gave this moron his own show? Anyways, while I am happy that freedom and democracy have triumphed over autocracy and censorship, and am proud and inspired that, like in India and the Philippines, the people of Egypt and Tunisia have demonstrated that willpower, determination, and vision can surmount seemingly impossible obstacles, the thing I am most excited about is not having to hear Wolf Blitzer use the word “tweet” anymore.